Horrible News.

What's the worse possible news could a person get?
This week just hasn't been my week. My iPhone broke, so I had to buy a new one. There goes 105+$ Went in for the check up, find out the prescription I got didn't help. There goes another 91.32$ Also have to get a different prescriotion. Then go see a dermatologist. And I have no insurance. But worse? My uncle has gone blind. Thanks to me taking back my word. I never heard of it in real life. Someone so embarrassed that they lose their sight. And everyone's so quick to blame me. Because I didn't do what they wanted me too. Because I chose my own happiness. I didn't think of anyone else. I was so brain washed it seems. Feeling like they were using me, and taking advantage of me. Now I find out because I quit half way. I ruined two people's lives. If not more then two people. I can feel it now, my aunt, my cousins, and definitely my uncle... Hating me. All the mistakes I did, all the damage I caused. Can anyone feel any worse then I do right now? I feel like I hate myself so much. Like everyone else hates me with a deep passion. My grandma, I could hear in her tone. So disappointed in me. She didn't expect nothing from me. But for me to keep my word. But I didn't, I made such a scene. Now, I don't know what to do. I can't say I feel bad about it, then have everything go back to normal. Nothing I do from this point on will do any good. Will everyone on my mother's side hate me now? I don't even know, but now it just feels like I can not face any of them. I'm such a horrible person. So ugly. So horrible. I just wish I never knew. But she told me. She told me, probably to spite me. To make me regret my decision. And I don't know. I think I really do regret it now. My first real regret in life. And it's because I promised to do something, then half way I quit. I hate myself.